The Ghost of My Ex Lives in My LinkedIn

One night, I opened LinkedIn to update my job title from “Freelance Legend” to “Unemployed, Spiritually.”

And there it was.

A message from my ex.

Except… they’d been blocked.
And also… they were dead.

It said:

“Endorse me for communication skills. Or else.”

I blinked.
A minute later, my screen glitched.
My “Skills” section now read:

• Overthinking
• Emotional instability
• Stalking from the afterlife

I tried deleting it.
It reappeared.
“Ghosted by ghost” was now listed as my recent experience.

I got job offers. From cemeteries. From horror podcasts.
Even an invite to be a “Medium-in-Residence” for a tech startup.

I messaged back: “What do you want?”
She replied:
“I want you to finally write that poem you never finished.”

So I did.

Now she only haunts me once a week.
Every Monday. 3AM.
With a thumbs-up emoji.