Modern Life Is Just a Series of Password Resets

You ever realize that your entire life now depends on remembering which version of “Password123” you used?

I tried to log into my bank account. It says,

“Your password has expired. Please create a new one that is at least 14 characters, contains a rune, a haiku, and the blood of a unicorn.”

I type something in.

“Password too weak.”
Okay. I add a capital letter.
“Still weak.”
I add a symbol.
“Still weak.”
I add emotional trauma and my GPA from 2006.
It finally says:
“Success. Your new password is strong and unforgettable.”

Next day I forget it.

So I click “Reset password.”
It says:

“We’ve sent a link to your email.”

I go to my email.
It says:

“Please enter your password to access your email.”

I’ve created a black hole.

At this point I’m locked out of my bank, my email, my grocery app, and probably my own identity.
A few more wrong tries and I think I unlock a second life in the metaverse.

Why can’t we just go back to simpler times?

You know what my grandma’s password was?
Nothing.
She had no passwords.
She just stared at machines until they submitted.