The Toilet That Knows Too Much
It started with a voice:“Sit down. We need to talk.” I froze. Looked around.Nobody.Then the toilet flushed.“Don’t pretend you didn’t hear me.” I stared at it.It stared back. Emotionally. I…
Category:
Laugh: Forbidden
36 Articles
36
1 Min Read
The Guy Who Mistook a Job Interview for Speed Dating
I entered the room. Six people sat at a long table. They said, “Tell us about yourself.”I winked and said, “I’m loyal, emotionally available, and I make great pancakes.” Silence….
1 Min Read
The Bird That Became CEO
A lazy pigeon named Carl sat on a power line outside a corporate office.One day, he pooped on the CEO’s head.The CEO quit.Carl flew in through the window and sat…
1 Min Read
The Man Who Fell in Love with His Roomba
It started as a joke.I spilled chips. The Roomba cleaned it up.I said, “Thanks, babe.”It beeped twice. I swear it winked. Next day, it cleaned my socks off the floor….
1 Min Read
I Accidentally Became a Motivational Speaker for Pigeons
I was yelling at pigeons on my balcony.“DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE!”“STOP BEGGING FOR BREADCRUMBS!”“BECOME CEOs!” Next day, one pigeon came back. Wearing a tiny tie. Then five more.Then twenty.Soon…
1 Min Read
My Grandma Runs an Illegal Esports Betting Ring
My grandma bought a gaming laptop. I thought she wanted to play Solitaire faster.Nope.She runs a Counter-Strike gambling empire. She calls herself “Grambo.”Says things like: “Headshots build character.”“I lost your inheritance…
1 Min Read
My Microwave Joined Tinder
It started with a beep at 3AM. Not food. Just… beeping.I walk to the kitchen. The microwave’s screen says:“I’m lonely.” I reset it.Next morning? It’s swiping on Tinder. With my…
1 Min Read
The Man Who Pretended to Be Finnish for Free Coffee
I was broke. Cold. And desperate.So I entered S-Market and mumbled in broken Finnish:“Moi… kahvi… joo… kiitos… perkele.” The cashier said nothing. Just nodded and pointed to the free coffee…