My roommate got drunk and put his goldfish up as a joke candidate in our neighborhood election.
The next day… he was leading the polls.
People said, “He listens more than real politicians.”
He just stared. In silence. Like a tiny wet Buddha.
His campaign slogan?
“Less Talk. More Bubbles.”
He won.
Now every Monday, we gather at the community pool. The goldfish floats there, we tell him our problems.
He blinks twice = yes.
One blink = no.
Three blinks = feed me.
Last week, the mayor visited. Asked for advice.
The goldfish turned around and pooped.
The mayor nodded and said, “I understand.”
I’m scared.
But I’d still vote for him again.
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