My grandma bought a gaming laptop. I thought she wanted to play Solitaire faster.
Nope.
She runs a Counter-Strike gambling empire.

She calls herself “Grambo.”
Says things like:

“Headshots build character.”
“I lost your inheritance betting on a 13-year-old from Korea named xxSniperJesusxx.”

She invites the neighborhood grandmas for tea. But they’re not drinking tea.
They’re watching Twitch streams and adjusting bets.
One yelled, “I PUT 50 EUROS ON THAT KID! REZ HIM, YOU CABBAGE!”

Last week, she bought a new car. I asked how.
She said, “Two aces, one clutch, and a no-scope from heaven.”

I tried to report her.
She threatened to 360-no-scope my soul.

Now I just bring her snacks and pray to Gaben.

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