Self-Checkout Machines Are Passive-Aggressive Robots

I walk into a grocery store. I’m tired. I’m broke. I just want to buy one thing—bread.
The self-checkout machine greets me like it’s judging my entire life:

“Welcome… back.”

I scan the bread.

The machine says:

“Unexpected item in the bagging area.”

There is NO item.
Just air.
I haven’t even moved.

I remove the air.
It says:

“Please place the item back in the bagging area.”

I scream.
It says:

“Assistance needed.”

Now a human walks over. Sees me fighting the ghost of carbohydrates.

They scan their magic card.
Suddenly the machine works.

So what’s the point?

We built machines so we didn’t need people.
But now the machines need people to fix the machines we built because we didn’t want people.

That’s modern life.

We’re all just glitching under fluorescent lights while a 17-year-old in a vest pretends not to see us.