I entered the room. Six people sat at a long table.
They said, “Tell us about yourself.”
I winked and said, “I’m loyal, emotionally available, and I make great pancakes.”
Silence.
One woman whispered, “This is accounting.”
I leaned forward, bold:
“Then let’s count… the ways I’ll love this company.”
They asked, “What are your weaknesses?”
I said, “Sometimes I care too hard.”
Someone dropped their pen.
Another started crying.
I showed them baby photos of my cat.
Tried to hug the HR guy.
Final question: “Why should we hire you?”
I said,
“Because I believe in love. And quarterly profits.”
I was escorted out by security and a very confused therapy dog.
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