I visited Finland and thought, “Let’s try the sauna. Relaxing, right?”

Wrong.

I walked into the wrong sauna.
This one wasn’t calm. It was hot, dark, and full of angry old men in towels.

I sat down. They stared. One leaned in and whispered,

“You sweat… or you die.”

Turns out, this was Fight Sauna.
Every Tuesday. No tourists. Just warriors.
They wrestle in silence. No music. Only steam and shame.

An old guy named Timo threw a snowball at my face from INSIDE THE SAUNA.
How?
I don’t ask questions anymore.

When I tried to leave, the door was locked. Someone yelled,
“Only the strongest cool down!”

I passed out.

Woke up outside with a medal and a slice of rye bread.
Still don’t know what happened. But I now get nods from strangers in Helsinki.

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