This happened during the Great Toilet Paper Panic. I just wanted one pack. Just one.
But so did everyone else.

I reached out. My hand touched the pack.
Then another hand.
A grandma.
She looked at me. I looked at her.
She whispered,

“Back off, rookie.”

She pulled. I pulled.
Suddenly, five more people dove in like it was WWE.
Someone yelled, “I HAVE IBS!” and dropkicked a shelf.

The manager tried to intervene. Got buried in tissue.

I escaped with a single roll.
As I left, a man crawled out of a freezer holding wet toilet paper and whispered,
“Tell my wife… I tried.”

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